Homes of Love and Grace

 

I have been reflecting lately about the places I have lived in since my divorce at 40. That is a period of just under 30 years. I have stayed in five different homes.

This verse in Hebrews three verse four says Every house is built by someone, but God is the Designer and Builder of all things. (The Passion Translation)

Isaiah 32 verse eighteen states Then my people will live in a peaceful surrounding, and in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places. (Amplified version)

The most important value for me is safety and ensuring that I feel safe. The second has always been affordability. The size has depended on how many of us need to live in the home. Why am I writing about this, you may ask. I want to share the goodness of God and give thanks. I am deeply grateful for each place and the circumstances that created each place. Creating space to pray before has also been part of the journey and then peace in my heart knowing what is “right” for me and my family.

The first few years, I stayed in our family home and most grateful to my ex-husband for that. My children were at high school and we both wanted them to have the stability of the family home. My mom also lived with us. The current circumstances changed, and a sale of the home had to happen. I had hoped to stay there for two more years, until my youngest had completed her schooling. We put the house on the market for six-months without a sale. Then one day an agent contacted me with a potential buyer. The agent had told him; I did not want to move. He asked me why. The next day we received a suggestion that felt like the first miracle. He had sold his home and signed up for two years as a “house father and mother” at one of the Universities. He said that he could only move in two years. He fell in love with our home. Could he buy at a slightly lower price, and I could live “rent free” and maintenance free for the next two years. We signed the deal, and I had a two-year contract to stay. I was able to use my share of the sale and put down a deposit on my future home and then had a tenant for those two years.

I lived in my beautiful townhouse for four years and was incredibly happy. My children still had a base but were creating their own wings and getting ready to fly the nest. We all have happy memories of this home. In January 2007, I turned fifty and both children have married and left the country. Earlier that year, my work situation also changed, and I was contemplating what my next chapter may look like. It did feel like a dark hole for a short while as I was experiencing “empty nest” and the loss of work I loved. Around July, my mom and I were out at Hartbeespoort Dam for a weekend and on the Sunday before returning to Johannesburg we went to have tea with one of my dearest friends who was the estate agent of a development called The Coves. I had never been there before. I was standing in her showroom, looking at a model of the development and said the following. “I feel God is telling me that I am going to come and live in this estate” My mother looked horrified. I came back the next week and she took me around the estate. I fell in love with one of the homes for sale and put in an offer subject to getting a bond. I decided that I would rent out my home in Johannesburg and move to the dam. If I did not like it, I still had my property in Johannesburg. I landed up selling my Johannesburg home years later to my tenant.

The Coves is the place I have stayed in the longest of all my homes. I lived there for thirteen years from 2007 to 2020. My grandchildren were all born between 2008 and 2012 and the holidays they spent with me at The Coves was like visiting a holiday destination. We all have such happy memories of this time. The longest I have ever stayed in one place. A real sanctuary for me.

The start of a new chapter and grappling with my work journey as a semi-nomad long before it became fashionable. From 2011 to 2015 I worked in Johannesburg three days a week and would spend nights with my mom and then rented a small cottage in a friend’s garden. In 2019, I decided I needed to move back to Johannesburg, as I was growing our new business and spending too much time on the dangerous Lanseria road. I put in an offer, subject to the sale of my home and it did not sell. God knew that staying in my beautiful country home would be ideal at the start of COVID. I am always grateful for those few months. A community that cared for each other, being able to support local farmers in buying their produce and creating time to be quiet and think about my next season.

I decided at that point that the next step would be to rent-not buy and live inside a Retirement community. The reason for this at age 63, was to experience if I was ready and to understand this market as it is a large decision that our clients make at 50plus-skills. I would have real life examples and better understanding of all the legal options. I am lucky to have long-term friends in the Cape and they suggested that I should try this experiment in the Cape. The world of work had also changed to my advantage as companies were now happy to have online meetings via Zoom or MS Teams, and it did not matter so much where this experiment took place. An offer for my home at full asking price came in August 2020. I was ready to take the next step.

I had no idea where I would stay, other than it was inside a retirement estate. One of my friends in the retirement homes sector lives in the Cape. I called him and asked him for the names of estates and stated my budget. I then made a statement at the end of the call. I had not planned to say this, but it came out of my mouth. “If you know of any Retirement Estate who may need my skills and services, which may create a good opportunity for me to stay as well.”  Three days later, he called me and said he had someone who wanted to chat about this. I moved into a beautiful estate and lived there for two and a half years, creating a wonderful Segway of learning for me and creating and using my skills for this organisation.

This cemented my love of The Cape and decided I wanted to stay. During this time, I had visited my oldest friend in years (we have been friends since the age of 2) at their holiday home in The Strand. They currently live in Texas but come out to South Africa each year for a five-to-six- weeks holiday. They have a beautiful apartment in a secure estate, overlooking the ocean. They currently rent it out when they are not in SA. I sent her a text message, asking if they would ever contemplate renting to me, if I exit for the weeks when they want to come on holiday. At the time they had tenants. The day after I asked, the tenant had let them know that they would no longer be needing the apartment. I moved here in 2023 and now in my third rental year. The apartment is furnished, but I have added some of my personal pieces and it feels like my own. My furniture is stored, in the basement and included in the rental. This is such a perfect win-win for us both and I thank God every day for this opportunity.

I know that this journey that I continue to walk is filled with peace and security. I sleep soundly at night. I have room for my friends and family to visit. I know I can live in a mansion or a small one-bedroom place. It does not matter. What matters is that I follow HIS plan as he has blessed me with more than I can ever imagine. I am forever grateful.