Reflections, lessons and insights from my 2014 journey

I last recorded an annual blog post about my year in 2009, 5 years ago. It is strange that when you ask me what years do I remember as tough ones in my life they will include 1970, 1996, 2000,2007-2009 and 2014. These are years where I lost valuable people in my life or went through traumatic lessons that now define who I am as a person. We do not learn too many lessons in " the comfort zone" of life but in the sad, traumatic, challenging seasons where we cry out to God to guide, hold and support us through the valleys. I am going to chat a bit about the different aspects of my life with insights and lessons for each. This post helps me to process my own thoughts, work through my grief and thinking and hopefully encourage and help others who may be going through similar phases and stages.

  WORK

As a 57 year old retirement coach, I help companies and individuals understand what the future holds for them and what planning and thinking needs to go into designing your best " next stage" of life. In a 21st century world we talk about work-life integration and I try and live my life as an example of what I teach. Work in the second half of life needs to be about things you are passionate about, skilled at and where possible bring purpose and meaning to both your life and those in society.This work feels more like PLAY than WORK. Some work may be for money but often it is about the currency of meaning which in most cases can be more valuable than money.

 In 2010 I was offered the perfect second career opportunity to head up a new social enterprise focused on early brain development, parenting and preparing our 6 million young children for formal education.We have now been operational for 4 years, designed and developed 4-5 programs and products and offering solutions across all the provinces of SA. This year, Karina one of the founders was asked to deliver our methodology and programs at an international Neuroscience in Early Childhood Conference in Mexico.

We are impacting parents,communities, schools and cities so that our children can improve their early years and in so doing change the long term human capacity of our Nation. It is only with a common goal of improving education that long term we can turn this country around. It is not a quick fix but will need all parts of society to get involved to bring change. take a look at our newly updated website for more details: www.brainboosters.co.za

 This year we had a member of our executive team leave at the end of March and I found myself responsible for the lives of more than 100 students that had signed up to study with us on a SETA level 4 and 5 in Early Childhood. I have no knowledge of this area of work but needed to pick up the baton and learn, support, mentor and widen my field of knowledge and understanding. We held in our care the lives of mostly women , the oldest over 80 who all had the desire to improve their skills and gain certification to further their careers. I am pleased to say that even though it was a very tough journey, as a team we succeeded and the first two groups have completed their classes and will graduate in early 2015.

 Refirement Network is still going strong. We always knew that this business was ahead of the curve and that the need from both Corporate SA and individuals would only become more of a need as more Baby Boomers start to retire from formal work life. The loss of wisdom and knowledge in the workplace is starting to now cause more pain and I am having more conversations with companies asking for advice and strategic direction. I continue to write up stories of individuals who have made the transition from a first career to a second and always looking for stories that will inspire others to do the same. Please feel free to share the details of my website with anyone who you feel may benefit. www.refirementnetwork.com

 I have a number of bookings already for talks in 2015 and the main focus is on the World Healthy Ageing Conference happening in South Africa at the end of July 2015. This will be a medical conference with a consumer event for the local public happening alongside the main event. I have been serving on the scientific committee for this event and it has been a great privilege to engage with a different side of the whole ageing debate.Here is the website www.wcha2015.com

 I still serve on the board of Symphonia for South Africa and it has been a tough year in the trenches but reached a tipping point at year end with the launch of a book,

200 schools are in the process of transformation, a contract from Gauteng Education to work with 66 schools in 2015 and an Award from The Institute for Justice and Reconciliation. Watch the video link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h44kAgcBFlw  We plan to grow in 2015 and always looking for business leaders who want to invest and make a difference in education. Link to the site:http://www.pfp4sa.org/

FAMILY

Family is a high value for me and at the same time challenging due to the fact that both my children live internationally. On one level because of distance we value and connect more than some of my local friends do with their children and on the other hand it is always feast or famine when we are together or apart. I miss the daily interaction and growth of my beautiful grandchildren, the concerts and outings that I would attend if they were here and time to just pop in for a cup of tea, a hug and a chat. If you have yours close by, value this and make sure you never take one another for granted.

January was a great month of connection. Carol decided to make a trip unexpectedly for a whole month and in hindsight after my Mom's death in May this was such a blessing for her. We celebrated my birthday as well as driving up to White River to celebrate John's 50th. Justin was also here for work in January and again unplanned. Often over this year as I have reflected I have noticed the special signs and gifts that were in place before mom died.

In late March I had a planned trip to Thailand. I arrived on Daniel's 6th birthday. We had a fun filled week together in Phuket and all just enjoyed the sun,food and family time together.

 The Thai school year starts in May and Daniel and Naomi are now both at school. Noiy and Bronwyn's ministry is growing and they continue to bless many as they serve the nation of Thailand. Bronwyn is also studying and fits this in between teams, school lifts and all her other responsibilities.


I arrived back on the afternoon of 12th April, my Mom's birthday and that evening we celebrated her 82nd birthday.

 She loves spending time with her family and was very involved still in the community at Max Haven where she stayed. She spent Easter with me, on Mother's Day, Frank, Marina and I took her out for lunch, two days later John and Lyn took her out for dinner and two days later she died. Her death was sudden, quick and no time for any of us to say good-bye. I was in Cape Town, so Frank and Marina had to deal with the trauma until I could get back later that day. The post mortem showed that she had a heart attack.

Everyone tells you that once your mom is gone that you will feel sad that you did not value her more while she was alive. I know that I spent valuable time with my mom and I have no regrets about that but one can never explain the deep dark hole of blackness that surfaces with the death of a parent.

Your parents are the only people who have your back your whole life and in our case, my mom had been both mom and dad to her four children and extended family for 4 decades as my dad died in 1970. Her death brought the family together and over the days after her death we spent many hours sharing, crying and celebrating her life. I was grateful that Bronwyn, Justin and Sarah and Carol could be here with us.

The other lesson I am learning as we now need to settle, report and finalize her estate is that we should all re-evaluate and keep good order around investments, important documents and passwords. It is like doing a complex puzzle trying to sort out what needs to happen and where all the documents are...... and my mom was a relatively organised person so this is no indictment on her, it is the lesson I have learnt so that I make that process easier for those left behind when I die.

John and Lyn had planned to celebrate their combined 50th this year on the island of Naxos in Greece.

 About 3 weeks after my Mom's death I flew out to Greece to celebrate with them as well as spend two weeks on the beach with Justin, Sarah and the girls. This was perfect timing to be quiet, reflect and just be close to family while we mourned and celebrated together.

Back home for July, August and September to do some work and then another wonderful opportunity to holiday with Justin, Sarah and the girls in South Africa. A few days with me at the dam and 5 days in Simons Town in the Cape. How quickly the girls are growing and they too have started attending a playgroup/nursery 2 days a week for a few hours.

Our beautiful American sister, Paxson who came to stay with our family as an exchange student in 1975 was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor last year and died late this year as well. Carol and Paxson have remained close both being in the USA and we mourn with her family the loss of a courageous, fun loving generous mom and wife. She was part of our family for almost 40 years.

Friends, Life and other thoughts

My friends form a very important part of my life. I enjoy spending quality time with each of them and having deep meaningful conversations. It takes time to build trust in a relationship and that means one needs to spend time with a person before these kinds of conversations can take place.
I love to spend time going to movies, theater, dinner and just to hang out with a small group of friends on a regular basis. Life is busy and so it is so easy to think that connecting on social media is enough. It does not create the deep bonds that face to face can. It is an ongoing challenge but important enough for me to make this happen as often as time allows.

I made the decision to rent a small flat in a friend's garden this past year. This has made a significant difference to my work life balance. I now am in Johannesburg from Monday to Friday and leave my computer at the office. That means I also leave my work there and only use my IPhone or Ipad to connect, play and communicate after hours. It has helped me to bring a better balance to the 24/7/365 work life that was starting to take over my entire life.My weekends at the dam are now more about rest, entertainment, and fun and I am enjoying these new boundaries that I have put in place for myself. What small change can you make in 2015 that could make a significant difference to how you manage your life?

In late November I went into hospital for major surgery. The professor tells me I can blame my mom and my children- genetics and natural childbirth..... I had repair done to 2 hernias as well as a complete prolapse of my pelvic floor muscles. I am now on the mend and hopefully able to drive and feel completely well by the time the office opens in January.  I am grateful for all the family and friends who helped look after and visit me both in hospital and at home. Marina and Jen
each stayed for a number of nights to help in the beginning as did Pam. Daphne, thank you for checking up on me daily to make sure that I was still alive and that all was well .

I am still part of the church community in Muldersdrift and love the focus of what the little church stands for. My journey with God is a daily journey of trust and conversation. The large black hole left with my Mom's death is part of that conversation and I trust and know that HE holds me and guides me on my journey and will help light up what awaits in this next season. The path and picture is not clear but it does not matter as I know that He knows and in time the picture will become clearer.
I have been in this place before........ He is a lamp unto my feet, holds me in the palm of His hand and protects me from behind.

I wish you a blessed Christmas with your family and friends. Look out for those that may not have anyone to share the day with and invite them to join your family. This is never an easy time for those on their own.

Thank you for being part of my journey this year.
Be blessed and write up your own journey and thoughts for 2015. It is a way to learn to appreciate all that we have and all those that add meaning to our lives.

Lynda