Building a new health habit

 

 I loved sport at school. Life as an adult had sport low down on the value scale. When there was time to walk, or exercise, it felt like a steep uphill battle, mentally for me and nine out of ten times, I would find an excuse.

In my early sixty’s, I attempted joining a Pilates class with our resident Physio at The Coves. Watching the young, fit women enjoying the movements, I felt embarrassed and lacked confidence. One discovers that getting up and down is not that easy anymore. I eventually approached another physio and asked if we could start a Pilates class for the older generation. This turned out to be a win. We met twice a week and enjoyed the classes. It was manageable and beneficial. The social engagement was also a key win. Sadly, when I moved to the Cape, my classes ended, and I fell back into my previous rut.

Last year I was struggling with shoulder pain and reduced movement in my right arm. The day-to-day challenges made me realize that if I did not do something about it, I would be in constant pain and spending thousands of rands on physiotherapy. My sister-in-law, who had a shoulder op, was doing daily water therapy at the local Virgin Active. She invited me to join her. I was reluctant to go as I felt self-conscious in my costume. With encouragement, I eventually went.

After about a month, I joined one of the aqua aerobics classes and loved it. It felt like I had found an exercise class that could work for me. I have built a consistent habit over the last six months of going at least twice a week. I have been amazed at the age range in the pool. Some of the people seem to have had a mild stroke, walk with a stick and others in all shapes and sizes in  their fifties to eighties happily enjoying the class together. The self-consciousness has gone, and my body is so much stronger. I have no more shoulder or arm pain and my flexibility has improved. I have met people through the sessions as well.

Late last year, I interviewed Dr Melodie de Jager, for our podcast called Red Wine and Blue Jeans. Melodie shared as we chatted about her research on the mature brain. She shared that for the brain to remain active we need the input of our senses and the output of movement. You can listen to the conversation here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1702777/14023723-in-conversation-with-dr-melodie-de-jager

As I did the class, after this interview, I realized that aqua aerobics is a wonderful opportunity to keep the brain active. We are using our senses of hearing and touch and the output of movement of all parts of our body. The music also creates “happiness” for me. The instructors are amazing and making such a difference for each of us in the water. I look forward to these sessions and have at last found something that I love

The gym can be a scary place for a person like me. It is easier to go with a friend and I am grateful for the encouragement. There is so much opportunity for any gym to create these special spaces for those of us who need to improve our health and engage with others in a social environment. It is never too late to improve our health.

I want to live, healthier for longer and grateful that I am now on that path. We need to find ways to duplicate this for others. Invite a friend. Be courageous. Just do it.

 

My nomadic journey-2024

 

This is the definition of a nomad from the dictionary.

A person who has no fixed residence but moves from place to place, usually seasonally or within a well-defined territory.

I have never been a nomad before. I was looking forward to creating and mapping out a journey for myself. I wanted to understand this way of life and I was gifted with such an opportunity as part of my current rental agreement.

I rent a beautiful apartment from friends who live in the USA. They visit one a year. I suggested a creative rental agreement, that includes me living in their furnished apartment.  My furniture is stored on the property in a basement locker. I moved with my clothes, some personal furnishings and the rest belongs in the unit. This makes it easy for me to vacate for a few weeks, when needed. It also has given me the opportunity to create my own personal nomadic journey.

 

I vacated the apartment for 5 weeks and 3 days. I did some BIG PICTURE planning, but there were some gaps where I was not sure where I would be staying. I wanted to document my journey, experiment, and put myself outside of my comfort zone. I did not want to spend more than what my rental costs would have been as part of this process. My work allows me to be anywhere, and this has been a conscious choice for this season of life.

In a book called The 100-year life by Lynda Gratton and Andrew Scott, they share that in most cases, our intangible assets are more important than our tangible assets. The intangibles include health, relationships, and transformational skills. I certainly can testify to this.

A combination of a plan with some gaps, can make one feel unsettled, but I saw it more as an act of faith, an adventure and that these gaps would be filled with interesting people and places. When we are inflexible and everything is planned and set in stone, we miss out on the “unexpected”. I wanted to experiment and remain curious.

My journey took me from Cape Town to White River, Johannesburg, Hartbeespoort Dam, Somerset West, Simonstown, Fishhoek and back to Somerset West. I was able to stay with family and friends for most of the time. I found a gem, Airbnb, through a friend without asking. (one of the gems of the trip) I managed to see several people in each of the places I stayed and had the opportunity to have some long, deep conversations. It felt like a holiday, and I was also incredibly spoilt.

Packing for many places and spaces is not easy. I decided to travel light but have clothes for all seasons. I do not have the gift of being a good packer, but I can say that on this trip, I managed the process well. Living simply and with less, has me questioning all the other clothes left behind. We all have way too much and as I move back I will be reducing my wardrobe and giving away things I have kept, but never wear.

I was able to rest, go to aqua aerobics at Virgin Gyms in a few venues and do some walks in the beautiful environments I stayed in. I ate too well. I visited some tourists’ sites and ate in places that brought back wonderful old memories.

I am a natural introvert and need time alone to re-energise. I had some alone time in most places, and this gave me the balance I needed.

New places can create sparks of creativity and thinking differently. We are never too old to learn something new, or to be surprised by seeing the world in a different way.

I lost my dear friend Jenny whilst on this journey but was with Daphne when I received the news. We were able to spend time talking about our very special friendship and grieve together.  A friendship of more than 40 years and we lived in the same places. Florida Glen, Hartbeespoort Dam and Cape Town. Life is not guaranteed. Live each day to the full.  Do not put off that visit. Make that call.

There were some fun surprises along the journey.  My intangible asset of friends and family are without a doubt my strongest asset. I am so grateful to every person who created and made this journey special for me. I appreciate each of you.

I had contemplated finding a short-term rental in one place for the 5 weeks. I am so glad I did not do that. I would have missed out on the rich tapestry of memories that I now have. I travelled, connected, made memories, did some work, remained curious, experimented, and pushed myself outside of my comfort zone. The value of this combination of ingredients is priceless.

My portfolio season with GROW ECD

 

As a retirement life and career coach, I help those in the second half of life to find work that is uniquely suited to them in this season of life.

We have all walked a unique journey when it relates to our career. Some started with a degree and stayed in one organization all their lives. Many others have taken a few twists and turns along the way. Some may have taken time to be a fulltime mom or to take care of elderly parents.

The statistics are telling us we will live longer and many of us have not saved enough. Working for longer, on your own terms, can be valuable. In fact, the value stretches beyond finances and includes social and emotional well-being.

In my coaching and courses, we use a vision board process called Ikigai. It is a Japanese concept and asks four questions to assist you in discovering your “Ikigai” (purpose)

1.      What do you love?

2.      What are you good at?

3.      What can you get paid for?

4.      What does the world need?

Over the past twelve months, I have had the pleasure of adding an extra project into my personal portfolio. When I was approached to take up this project management role, I asked several questions to ensure that it merged into my life in a way that worked both for myself and the project. Things like flexibility and working remotely. It also ticked many of the “ikigai” boxes for me.

The project was stimulating, involved the design and creation of a new programme and the beneficiaries were Early Childhood Centre Owners. The project needed to rollout in three different cities, and I needed to recruit and train three facilitators who would manage the in-classroom engagement and facilitation.

I spent many years in the early childhood sector and at Smile Education had the privilege to work with many leaders who have impacted the sector over many years. Leading at both Smile, MySchool and BrainBoosters helped build my skill set to take on this project. The most important ingredient in any project is the people. It was so wonderful to work with two of my Smile leaders, as facilitators on this project.

The project success was created through the people. The Executive team at GROW ECD, ably led by their CEO, Tracey Chambers as well as regional managers and local teams that pulled together to create the success. It was wonderful to work with a diverse and talented team who all had the same goal.

The project comes to an end this November and will continue in each region in 2024. The programme is now part of the plan to roll out further afield in the future. More than 650 owners have been trained and now have a heart for children and a head for business. The business skills side in this sector have been missing.

This sector looks after our young children. They are our future. The early childhood centres need to become sustainable businesses. We need to pay market related salaries to the teachers. There is so much room for job creation in this sector.

I am grateful for this past year. I have learnt new skills. I have made new friends. We have made a difference. Thank you to each person involved in this project. We certainly are stronger together.

 

Going in search of my family history in Scotland.

Every single individual has a forest of family trees. Some we have details of and others remain unknown. There are some amazing genealogy websites that can help one dig into the history. I am a fourth generation South African with Scottish descent. I am also the eldest in my generation. My mother held much of the history and we managed to document some of it at the time of her death. We also discovered a Facebook Group called The family of William Gauldie, the miller at Lunan.

In September this year, I was invited to attend a global ageing conference in Glasgow. Justin, my son suggested that we use this opportunity to go and search for our roots. This turned out to be a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time with Justin as we drove through the beautiful Scottish countryside. We planned to spend one night in Lunan Bay and then travel back to Edinburgh. We met up with Andrew Gauldie, who has lived in the area for many years. He showed us around the beautiful coastal area of Lunan Bay.

Becca Gauldie had created the Facebook Group and done much of the history of the area. We were sad not to connect with her, but she supplied us with the Google co-ordinates for the Church, graveyard and School in Kinnell This is where my great great grandfather was the school head. Here is the link  Church, graveyard and school  It is a beautiful area of farmland and the house is still inhabited. We spent some time walking through the graveyard. There must have been about 100-200 graves. They say that one can learn much from a graveyard. We think we learnt something amazing..... keep reading to discover what we found.

We walked around the graveyard looking for Gauldie headstones. Many were covered by overgrown bushes. We both remarked about the number of SMITH graves in the cemetery. Names we know like James and Robert Smith. Good old Scottish names.

We left and took a beautiful drive back via St Andrews to Edinburgh. That evening, Justin was looking at some correspondence he had been having with James Smith and Bobby Stanway. They have been involved with looking at the SMITH genealogy and asked Justin to be the person to take up the baton of Smith history. ( he is the last remaining Smith boy in a line that arrived in South Africa in 1850) As he read, we matched where we had been earlier in the day and discovered that the SMITH line that came to South Africa lived in the village next to Kinnell. What are the chances that those graves are part of his history from his dad. The Gauldie graves from his mom. A moment of possible synchronicity that he will now continue to be interested in. The history, golf courses and whiskey tasting will lure him back in the future.

We had a wonderful time. We discovered a forest of family trees and the possibility that this is the area where some roots continue to tell a story. 

Legacy and Synchronicity

 

Today is my father Jack Davis’s birthday. He would have been 94. He died 51 years ago in 1970 when I was 13 years old. My mom became a widow at 38 with 4 children ranging in age from 6-13. I was the eldest child. My father was an engineer and owned his own engineering company and foundry called Rustenburg Engineers.

Growing up in a mining town (platinum) the opportunity arose for my dad to design a pulley needed at that time for the platinum mining process. This pulley was patented as the “RENG” pulley. After my dad died, my mom made the decision to sell the business. It was sold in August 1970 to JCI Engineering. The legacy my dad left was in part what helped keep my mom to survive financially, although she was herself a professional pharmacist. The legacy was his generous spirit in the community and the fact that we felt proud of what my dad had achieved and how much he impacted us in the truly short time we had together. This newspaper clipping was all we had.

 

Fast forward to January 2021- 50 years later.  My nephew Martin Davis (Jack’s grandson) is now a qualified engineer, working for an engineering consulting company in Pretoria. He works with a fellow engineer called Harmen von Zwietring.  They talk causally about life and Harmen, who comes from Rustenburg asks Martin about his connection to Rustenburg as he seems to visit quite often. Martin shares that he visits his aunt on his mother’s side of the family but that his father’s family have a long history in Rustenburg (4 generations starting in 1902). Harmen is home in December and shares this story with his dad, Hilko von Zwietring.

Harmen arrives back at work in January this year and gives Martin the original pulley made by my dad so many years back. These were lying in his dad’s garage. We do not yet have the full story of how this came about, but Hilko worked in the same Accounting company in Rustenburg who managed my Father’s business affairs. Martin and Harmen’s grannies were good friends and fellow Rotarians. I am presuming it has something to do with samples for the patent registration at the time.

Martin shared this amazing story with my brother Frank, who is also an engineer and has given the pullies to my brother.

What are the chances that 50 years after his death that this piece of metal that only has a special place in our hearts comes full circle back to us?

A gift to remind us that even though the years have passed, while we were still children, the impact that my dad had has continued.  The gift of legacy and synchronicity.

Thank you Hilko and Harmen, you will never know what this means to us.

When I'm 64

 

The well-known song by The Beatles was released in 1967. I was 10 years old. This picture a little later than 10 but in my teenage years. It was a song that we sang throughout those crazy, carefree teenage years.  We loved the songs, sang along but never really had context to the meaning. Today I have context. I am 64.

According to the world wide web, Paul McCartney wrote this song for his dad when he turned 64.

In 1967, reaching the age of 65 was a gift only a few achieved. Today this may be closer in context to 84. Longevity is the gift.

Gail Sheehy, is quoted as saying today’s 64-year-olds have a "360-degree view of life." They may believe in yesterday, but they also can't stop thinking about tomorrow.

The new 64," Sheehy said, "is more like 84."

When I get older losing my hair

The hair is not lost but I am now a natural platinum blond

Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a Valentine.

Gosh I have not had one of those for years!

Birthday greetings bottle of wine

As I turn 64, you cannot even send the bottle of wine due to lockdown.

If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?

9pm sounds much better to me!

Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

At 64 I am still independent and live alone.

I do so appreciate the meals and times together over the years with friends and family.

Long may it last.

You'll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you.

I have discovered that I am an introvert and love my own company.

I love my friends and family and connect often but enjoy my solitude too.

I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?

Yes, I do miss having someone around to help with the things I struggle to do. A long way off sitting by the fire, knitting, more likely to find me engaging on my computer with people around the world around my areas of interest.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four

Every summer we can rent a cottage
In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck and Dave

The family is scattered across 4 continents and I spend my retirement savings visiting those closest to me ….. sadly, not this year but hopefully again soon

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away

The thing I love the most about my birthday is spending time with those I care about. The calls, messages and thoughts are always welcome.

Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four

The vision of life at 64 cannot be imagined at 10, 24 or even 44. The most important thing I have learnt is to be true to myself.  Life happens along the way. Manage the grief, work through the challenges, and discover who you truly are.  Live your life with purpose. Value your relationships. I did not plan to live alone at 64, but that is what life has delivered. However I am not alone. I am at peace.

Life is a gift I value every day. Thank you to all who have been part of that journey over the 64 years.

I love and appreciate you. I still need you at 64.

 

Psalm 23- my word in season for 2021

 

Every year I spend time in prayer about a word in season for my life.  I carry this word in my heart with me throughout the year. I find it helps me to stay focused, prayerful, and grounded. Every year it has been one verse. For 2021 it is one chapter. The 23rd Psalm.

 

I will study this as the year progresses but here are my thoughts as the year begins:

 

I am using the message translation for this post.

 

1 God, my shepherd! I do not need a thing

 

My strength comes from the Lord. He is the author and finisher of my faith.

 

2. You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.

 

He has placed me here in Somerset West for such a time as this and supplies all my needs

 

3. True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.

 

I have had time to rest, reflect and now will walk a path of purpose

 

4. Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I am not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd's crook makes me feel secure

 

We are living in uncertain times and my help comes from the Lord.

 

5. You serve me a six-course dinner right in front of my enemies. You revive my drooping head, my cup brims with blessing.

 

I am so grateful for my blessings at this time.

 

6. Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I am back home in the house of God for the rest of my life.

 

Each day I awake to experience your goodness and know that you are with me here and into eternity.